I’m currently reading, some actively and some just sitting on my kindle half finished, NINE self-help books. Must be I think I am pretty messed up and need to be fixed…well, yeah, doesn’t everyone?
My mentality since I started dating my significant other two years ago and when I quit drinking a little over a year ago was, “Damn, I have more emotional/psychological issues to deal with than I thought”. Ya know there is just something about love and getting your emotional “crutch” taken away that makes you start feeling like you’re a little “off” and need to “figure your shit out”.
Two years later, off my anti-depressants, living in Alaska, managing someone’s dog kenneling business and I still don’t have my shit figured out. All the self-help books I have been reading have all had something good to say and given me some insight into myself but nothing quite like this anti self-help book I found after I typed into Google, “How to stop giving a fuck”. Thank you Mark Manson for writing, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck and making something so real and relatable to ME (this book may not be for everyone).
Here are a few excerpts I’ve taken from that I found helpful:
“As the existential philosopher Albert Camus said (and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t on LSD at the time): “You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” Or put more simply: Don’t try.”Mark Manson
“We feel bad about feeling bad. We feel guilty for feeling guilty. We get angry about getting angry. We get anxious about feeling anxious. What is wrong with me? This is why not giving a fuck is so key”.Mark Manson
“We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent for inspiring change. We have evolved to always live with a certain degree of dissatisfaction and insecurity, because it’s the mildly dissatisfied and insecure creature that’s going to do the most work to innovate and survive”.Mark Manson
“Each and every one of us can be extraordinary. We all deserve greatness. The fact that this statement is inherently contradictory-after all, if everyone were extraordinary, then by definition no one would be extraordinary-is missed by most people”Mark Manson
“Being “average” has become the new standard of failure. The worst thing you can be is in the middle of the pack, the middle of the bell curve”.Mark Manson
“After all, that constant pressure to be something amazing, to be the next big thing, will be lifted off your back. The stress and anxiety of always feeling inadequate and constantly needing to prove yourself will dissipate”.Mark Manson
That last quote gets me in my feelings. More often than not I am thinking of how I can be a better person, live a better life, get healthier, lose weight, be less angry, be less anxious, be less of a lot of bad feelings. At times it brings me to tears thinking about how I have failed and feel useless and purposeless. I ask my significant other at least once or twice a month if I’m selfish or if I’m fat or if I am too much and he always says no and sometimes I believe him and other times I don’t. This book has helped me see that I don’t have to ask those questions all the time, or be so hard on myself for not being as successful or skinny as other women. I can just relax, I can be average, and I don’t have to try so very hard, because honestly, trying hard is killing me mentally. And as Manson says in his book somewhere (and I am paraphrasing), usually when you stop trying so hard you loosen up and do better at whatever you are doing or reach your goals.
I just had to share because this book has totally changed my perspective and given me kind of a new freedom. Anyway, as always, thanks for reading,
Xoxo Rachael Lynn