Well, no one wrote in the comments below to tell me to stop reading self-help books so I guess I will continue to read “Unstuck: Your Guide to the Seven-Stage Journey Out of Depression” by James Gordon and “Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live” by Martha Beck (if anyone was interested in what I am reading).
It’s not that I think I am actually clinically depressed but my anxiety often leads me down the bunny trail that eventually ends at the bunny hole, rabbit hole, whatever, and then I have the thought of “what is the point of life anyways?”.
What really bothers me most about these times is that I can’t even appreciate the very good life I have because everything feels so heavy…even though it’s not. For example, right now my very young, beautiful, sweet dog is resting next to me on the couch asleep. This is a sweet moment that makes life a joy to live but when I am anxious and depressed all I feel is irritable. Irritable with myself for feeling so irritated and irritated that my anxiety and depression steal my joy.
Today I can say I am feeling good and I don’t know what to attribute that to. I just cannot figure out what makes me come out of my darkness. All I know is that when I do come out of it I try my best to appreciate every second of feeling good.
On another note, I am going to experiment with something I have never tried before, Traditional Chinese Medicine. After reading through some of “Unstuck”, I have been slightly convinced that acupuncture and traditional herbs (no, not Marijuana, but I mean hey if that’s your gig I won’t stop you), may be a better alternative to my anti-depressant. SO, we shall see what happens and MAYBE I will come back and tell everyone what it is like. I have always thought of herbs and needles in your back as pretty “mamby-pamby” so to speak and a little “woo-woo” as many podcasters are saying, but, these treatments have been used for possibly over 5,000 years (https://www.chinaeducenter.com/en/cedu/tcm.php) so why not try it?
As always, thanks for reading,