Well, I came home late last night after a long day and started complaining about the people at work/what stupidity…I mean silliness had ensued that day. Seeing my partner was either tired or frustrated with me I asked him just that, “Do you get frustrated when I talk about work?”. His answer was “sometimes” and “because you always seem unhappy about work or you don’t like the people”.
I had already gone over this with myself about a month ago when things at work were not what I expected. Did I really like doing the job I had a degree for and was earning a degree for? Is it just my mental health? Am I unhappy because I’m anxious/depressed? Am I a spoiled brat who just wants things to go their way? Or is it a culmination of all of the above?
Here I was again, feeling completely confused, out of control, and full of questions. “How can I start over again?” “What will people think when I decide to change careers, stop schooling, or start new schooling?” “WHAT THE HELL AM I GOING TO DO”.
As everyone with anxiety knows this is where you go into a full fledged panic attack or you get angry or if you’re me…you cry.
My question to all of you (and myself), is this thing that’s happening to me due to the fact that I was born between the years of 1981 and 1996 (a millennial) or because we were all sent off to college with the hopes and dreams of gaining a bachelor’s degree and then finding a career that would move us out of our parent’s house, help us pay our bills, and feel like we have a purpose? Is getting a job that allows us to have all these things a fairy tale or have we been spoiled? Is it because our parent’s and teachers told us we were “special” and that our expectation of a “special” job that gives us meaning and purpose is just a bunch of malarkey (meaningless talk or nonsense).
In my glass if half-full world, I think it is nonsensical to believe that there is one job out there that is special, just for you, but I do believe that there is a job out there for me that I can enjoy and even love. I have a tiny, tiny, tiny, amount of faith that this is possible and that I am not a crazy millennial because I have seen many bloggers online and other adults in my world who are doing what they like or love to do.
My advice to all of my millennial people out there, my friends who are just as lost and confused as I am…seek the counsel of those who know you well and you trust, to thine own self be true, and DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME HAVING A FREAK OUT BECAUSE IT DOESN’T HELP. The 20s and maybe we can even consider the 30s (?) is a time of finding out who you are, your strengths and weaknesses, and how you want to live out your life. For now, just “make the best of what’s around” (and I will try really hard to do that also! even though I am always on the edge of a crisis (ha)).
As always, thanks for reading,